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In what could be viewed as a desperation attempt to hold on to the presidency, the Bush administration is preparing plans to postpone the November presidential elections by claiming the threat of a terrorist attack would disrupt the process.

Sources within the Department of Homeland Security confirm the agency is preparing "legal steps" to postpone the election and can do so at a moments notice when the orders come from the White House. Michael Isikoff of Newsweek magazine is also confirming this in this week's edition.

In other news, George W. Bush announces that he has already held a surprise election, in an effort to thwart the evil-doers, and he got 100% of the votes.