Saturday, January 31, 2004

Thanks to GreenFairy for letting me in on the existence of The Post-Rapture Guide. You never know when something like that might come in handy. Well, I shouldn't say you'll never know, what with the 10 horns, the EU and the Musical Chairs , I'd say a week from next Tuesday would be a good guess.
Read this and if you can get all the way through the comment by Dick Jones without laughing out loud, I owe you a coke.

Friday, January 30, 2004

Just call me
Pansy Bramble of Willowbottom .
Thanks to oighrig. Lovely song too.

Thursday, January 29, 2004

#1 of 100 Things About Me

" I am the favorite child of a favorite child. I know my worth."
Sandra Cisneros

This is Sofa King stupid

Way to go Bono! You gave the Texas Republicans something else to distract the people from what a Titantic Failure the Bush Jr. Administration is.
Dirty Words. They've come up with a revised list of Carlin's "Seven Dirty Words" in House Resolution 3687, dubbed the "Clean Airwaves Act". It includes six of Carlin's original seven foul-mouthed exclamations. But the bill substitutes tits for asshole/ass hole.
The seven words in Carlin's monologue were: shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits.

So, am I to understand that these two Republican congressmen, the authors of the bill, believe that in the last 30 years, it has become acceptable to utter "tits" over the public airwaves .

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

I have to decide by Tuesday who I am going to vote for in the Democratic Primary.
I'd be very interested to know which of these candidates looks good to our friends (and bad to our enemies) across the oceans.
Howard Dean
John Kerry
Wes Clark
So if I post "Bush is God" (twice) and add "I am truly a Republican", banners, supporting Bush and the wacky Right Wing, will adorn the top of my page? This calls for a little experimenting.
Brad Pitt is God.

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Etymology: Italian, from present participle of dilettare to DELIGHT
3 archaic : the power of affording pleasure
Dear Daisy,
I have this Rush Limbaugh loving Republican cousin in California that I am having a little problem with.
He's been sending me right wing "Bush is God" crap for a while. As tactfully as possible I let him know that he and I do not agree politically and though it was nice being in touch after all these, no make that, after our entire lives, that I thought it would be best if we stuck to exchanging jokes and family news. First he lectured me " Iwtbad, a president can only do what he thinks is right. They can't be every thing to every one. Hell I didn't like Clinton but he did do some things right." I wrote him back saying that the only thing he and I were likely to agree on was that 'Clinton did do some things right' and included a little joke as an example of how pleasant things could be. So he sent me this.
With Herculean effort, I fought the urge to write him that I had been sobbing all day and, of course, he is right, Bush is God and, I am truly a Republican. I only needed him to show me the light. Instead, I cooled down a couple of days and then sent him some very funny, non political jokes. He responded with A Cowboy in the White House

I am so pissed off I could spit!! In other words, I am unreasonably angry with this moronic cousin. I'm afraid if I try to reply to him I may burst a blood vessel and will certainly spontaneously be divorced from several members of my original family.
You and your fellow bloggers are so clever, I thought one or more of you might like to take a crack at this crock.
I have no idea how (or if) I will respond to the rat bastard cousin but I can tell you that I will never waste a good joke on him again.

If you've gotten this far, then thanks for for listening to me rant. If you haven't, then you missed this.